Fitting Out

Thinking outside the box. Going against the grain. Coloring outside the lines. These are all statements I am sure you are familiar with. These statements penetrated my ears constantly my whole life not knowing why, as I felt completly ordinary. As the years passed I realized that I did have passions and dreams that seemed out of sorts to most around me. Not only did I have dreams that others deemed crazy, but I worked hard to live them out regardless of what others thought of me. I feel as if most of my life I have been fitting out so organically that it never dawned on me that I was set apart in any way.

Artistry has been a large part of my fabric. In all that I did art was the driving force. It is such a revelation looking back on my life and seeing all the ways I always naturally fit out. If I went through each of those moments with you this post would become a novel. So instead I will reveal only a few very special seasons of my life. When I fist picked up a camera after being a mixed media artist I was smitten. I loved that with one push of a button I could create art that could pierce your soul. I was all in! My whole existence has been centered around serving others. So when I finally decided to start taking clients and shooting for real I knew I wanted to do something no one else dared to do. It was clear to me that there had to be a ton of families that would love to have beautifully captured moments, yet could not afford such treasures. I knew with all of my being that I needed to be that one photographer that would make having stunning images excessable and affordable. For so many years I had opposition. I had some clients even tell me how I was cutting myself short. I did and still do find an enormous amount of joy knowing that I was brave enough to listen to that still small voice and fit out just enough to provided something that you can not put a price on. Art become my ministry.

Last year I embarked upon a journey I never thought I would ever experience. Another aspect of my art ministry developed truly by devine appointment. I still at times wonder how I ended up here. I still can not totally recall how it is I came to know about Buti Yoga. All I remember is how I felt when I experienced it for the first time. I felt alive and free. When certification just so happened to come to our island I was eager. I wanted to attend badly, yet knew that my crazy idea of redeeming it may be misunderstood by church family and friends. Not knowing fully what I was up against I committed completly. I went into certification weak bodied, literally. I had not worked out in years. We completed an all day high intensity workout on day one, which was no small feit. Day two arrived, I tried to come up with every excuse I could not to return. My body was confused and pained. Dragging my feet I showed up for round two trying to convince myself that God would see me through. He had already got me this far. I knew in my heart He would show up big time for me. After two of the hardest physical days of my life it came down to a ten minute demo. I was past tired, past nervous, and past awkward. God made a way for me and indeed showed up BIG time. When demos where completed we were called in one at a time to be told if we had passed certification or if we needed more work. My time was up I had done all I could. Walking into that open room awaiting the news was heavy. She looked at me and told me I had passed within seconds. Weeping was instant. My body released and I praised God openly. Before certification I felt that still small voice again telling me that this would be another way to minister. I knew that I was going to be the one to fit out and provide something just a little different than everyone else. Embarking on this journey to redeem Buti Yoga and fit out has been one of my biggest hurdles and deepest blessing.

You see Jesus started it all. He was the one guy that was most misunderstood. He spent is valuable time with sinners. Jesus ate with everyone! Fitting out was a part of him as it is a part of us. We are not to be conformed by this world, but transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2). All this time I thought how completely ordinary I am, but God has reveled just how much I was made to fit out. I praise Him that my eyes are open to my uniqueness. That I am more self aware knowing the areas that go against. The beautiful parts of me that love difference. There are so many aspects of my life where I thrive coloring outside the lines and in doing so I feel as if I am becoming more and more like Jesus. Fitting out is not the easiest road. There will be many unforeseen setbacks. Thinking outside the box you live in will bring about more of your individuality, your joy, and your purpose.


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