As this year passes and reflection and resolution becomes habit, I rest in awe of it all. I woke this morning to so much gratitude, yet also a touch of anxious anticipation. I know very strongly that I have collected a lot of knowledge, dreams, and exciting new passions this past year. Aware of this truth I am also faced with where I fell and lost sight. I took some time this morning to re read my very first blog post as a way of refreshing what I had resolved this time last year. I truthfully felt amazement at my writing, how raw and open I was then. In a lot of ways all of my individual and family oriented goals for the year were met. There was just one that I seemed to delicately place to the side. I am completely present in knowing the value and power it holds. Every passing year I desire more as I know in my mind it will bring forth even more health and wellness than I can ever imagine for myself and for my family unit. So why is it then that I thoughtfully reject the one thing I need the most to feel completely whole?
It all comes down to this years one resolution I plan on making and working through deeply. Freeing my mind and spirit of the rooted oppression that I have somewhat consciously held tight to basically my whole life. My story is possibly very similar to yours. My parents divorced early enough in their marriage that I don’t carry a single loving memory of the two of them together. That brings about a lot of oppression that I still carry with me. Let me tell you that bag is heavy and it is a very hard one to put down. What do I really know of love? I also have had far too many friendships that have come, then suddenly vaporize. Military life aids in this greatly, along with sudden change. Just one more heavy bag of oppression that I can not seem to get reprieve from. Rejection has kept me in the perpetual and prolonged state of cruel and unjust repression.
Every new year arrives and I accept that I need to draw much closer to God. This is the first year that it truly dawned on me that I need to put down my oppression so that I can keep that resolution and finally step into the complete wellness I so desperately long to have. I can not fully get there without ALL of Him. To get to him I need to surrender my accumulated hurts and fears of rejection and allow Him to show me more and more of what true love looks like. This year is projected to be possibly the hardest I have faced. In the end I know I will look back with tramendious gratitude and shouts of joy. Colossians 2:6-7 states, ” So then, just as you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, being rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and overflowing with gratitude.” I seek more than anything this new year to be rooted and then beautifully built up in Christ. I pray that this new year you too can truly identify where you are feeling oppression so that you may be set free to accept the most abundant gift of true wellness and wholeness.